


Dobengal's In Charge!

by dragonshost



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Crack, Humor, Multi, Nothing could go wrong, Pure Crack, ace!Dobengal, but there's no main one, contains Stingue, let's leave the ninja in charge, lots of side pairings mentioned, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-09-30 22:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17232374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonshost/pseuds/dragonshost
Summary: Someone needs to look after the guild in Sting's absence. Who better than Dobengal...? Quite a number of people, actually, but they're all leaving, too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written back in 2015, as a celebration for the U.S. legalizing gay marriage.

"DOBENGAL!"

The mage in question let out a high-pitched shriek as the door to the bathroom stall in which he was performing his business was suddenly ripped off its hinges by his frantic Guild Master.

"I've been looking all over for you, you goddamned ninja!"

"What the hell, Sting?!" he shouted. "You  _literally_  just scared the shit out of me!"

"No time for that!" the blonde Dragon Slayer declared. "I need you to do a couple of things for me!"

"Can't it wait until I'm done?!"

Hesitating for a moment, Sting took stock of the situation. "Oh. Sorry, dude. I'll just… wait outside."

With that, he pivoted and left.

Dobengal stared at the line of porcelain sinks he now had a clear view of.

Just what had gotten into his excitable Guild Master  _this_ time?

In short order, he was washed up and exiting the restroom.

Only to find most of Sabertooth Guild's members standing outside, clearly waiting for him.

"Um… what's going on?" Dobengal asked, feeling very much like cornered prey.

"Same sex marriage just got legalized all across Fiore!" Sting cheered to his right, startling the ninja again.

He blinked. "Um… okay? Congratulations?"

"You're in charge!"

Dobengal blinked again. And then a few more times, attempting to process this declaration. "Say what?"

Slinging an arm around the Shadow Dragon Slayer, Sting announced, "Rogue and I are going on a honeymoon, so you are in charge while we're gone! Which will be for three weeks. Also, you need to take care of Lector and Frosch. We've left you a list."

"Huh?!" This was a lot to wrap his head around all at once. "What about Orga? Isn't he the strongest?"

"Rufus and I are going on a honeymoon, too," the God Slayer informed him, Rufus nodding beside him.

"T-then Minerva…?"

"Yukino and I are eloping."

Dobengal face-palmed. "All of you…? At the same time…?"

"Yup." Sting clapped Dobengal's shoulder. "You're in charge until we get back. Don't burn the place down, alright?"

"…Fine," he responded, struck by the sudden urge to cry.

"Oh! One more thing, before I forget!"

The new, interim Guild Master looked up at his friend. "What is it?"

"We need you to do a rainbow fire thingy above us as we exit." After a moment, Sting added as an afterthought, "Please."

He nodded slowly in agreement.

What the hell, right?

Why not?

"I'll get right on that, then…"


	2. Chapter 2

Dobengal had been in charge for precisely thirty minutes, post Sting and the rest's departure, when suddenly he found himself surrounded.

Again.

This time by fire mages.

Lots.

And lots.

Of fire mages.

"Can… can I help you?" he asked, confused by his abrupt rise to popularity.

"You have that rainbow fire thing, right?!" Natsu shouted at the very confused ninja.

"Yeah…?"

"Teach us how to use it!" he demanded. "We want to support all our friends!"

Dobengal stared in horror at the sheer number of mages gathered, all of whom were cheering and nodding along with the Dragon Slayer, whom it appeared was their chosen delegate. "A-all of you?"

"Right!"

Another guild member of Sabertooth passed a piece of paper to his interim Guild Master. "Guild Master Sting mentioned it in his instructions."

Oh dear god.

There it was.

_**DOBENGAL. HELP SPREAD THE LOVE AND TEACH EVERYONE YOUR RAINBOW FIRE!** _

_**WAIT.** _

_**ROGUE SAYS THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.** _

_**FINE.** _

_**TEACH ALL THE FIRE MAGES CAPABLE OF LEARNING IT, THEN!** _

He smacked his forehead. How was he going to find the time to perform all the other instructions on the list…?

Then he remembered that he didn't particularly care for paperwork anyway.

"Alright! Line up!"

At least it was for a good cause?


	3. Chapter 3

Holding the rainbow fire lessons indoors swiftly proved to be a bad, bad idea.

Dobengal recalled Sting specifically saying not to burn the place down in his absence. And here he was. Barely an hour later. Having nearly done just that.

Maybe Sting wouldn't notice the scorch marks?

…But Rogue certainly would.

Dammit.

Although, Dobengal had to admit that it was pretty impressive that Natsu had not only succeeded in learning the technique first, but also in having left said scorch marks on  _marble._

"Why aren't they rainbow-coloured?!" demanded the Dragon Slayer, who was being forcibly shoved outside by Romeo Conbolt and Totomaru. "I did the rainbow fire-thingy! The burn marks should also be rainbow-y!"

"That's impossible, Natsu!" Romeo informed his older brother figure, finally prevailing in getting the destructive mage to a place where there weren't quite so many flammable objects. Like people.

"Why?! Why can't they leave rainbow marks?! That would be  _so_ much cooler!"

"Because physics," Totomaru informed him darkly, the Dragon Slayer getting on the teacher's last nerve. "Physics are a thing. That exists. They are the logic of the world."

"Well I DEFY logic!"

"That you do," Totomaru grumbled. "That you do."

"More importantly," Dobengal announced, shuffling all of the other gathered fire mages outside. "Does anyone here know how to remove scorch marks…?"

Silence descended.

"Really? Not… not even a single person?" The interim Guild Master felt his soul leaving his body. "You're all fire mages! And none of you know how to remove scorch marks?!"

"You're one, too," Totomaru pointed out. "And you don't know, either."

"You see?!" Natsu shouted. "Logic! Do away with it! Down with logic!"

There was a rousing cheer from the other mages.

"That still doesn't solve the problem!" Dobengal lamented, while the rest ignored him.

Sting was going to kill him.

And if not him, then Rogue would.

Most certainly, Minerva would like a shot at him, too.

Oh, well. It had been a good life so far...

Maybe he could run away to Fairy Tail.

Yes.

This was a good plan.


	4. Chapter 4

Vigorous scrubbing proved useless, no matter how hard Dobengal and the other guild members worked on it. The scorch marks left over from the fire lesson would just not go away.

Maybe Dobengal could reason with Rogue, and blame Sting for wanting him to teach the rainbow fire magic to all of the other fire mages. There was a little voice in the back of his head telling him that that excuse wouldn't work, since it had been his decision to hold the training indoors.

But the ninja chose to ignore that for now. Maybe Rogue would let it slide, in the aftermath of honeymoon bliss.

Again, unlikely, but Dobengal could dream.

Also, a new problem had arisen.

When he'd gone to the Guild Master's office, he'd opened the door only to freeze in horror at the sight that awaited him.

The paperwork. It was piled to the ceiling, in over a dozen stacks. Sting been putting it off, apparently.

How had it gotten to this point? Sure, Sting had been hard at work fostering the bonds between the Sabertooth members ever since the end of the Grand Magic Games, and taking jobs with Rogue, and helping to renovate the guild hall, and dealing with the aftermath of Tartaros and Minerva returning to the guild…

Actually, on second thought, it really wasn't such a great surprise that none of the paperwork had gotten done. Sting had spent his time literally anything other than the paperwork.

What the real mystery here was, was why Rogue had allowed it to happen. Normally he was the voice of reason between him and Sting.

Then again, maybe the Dragon Slayer just hated paperwork as much as his partner seemed to.

Well… either way, it wasn't going to complete itself.

Dobengal moved the stack on the chair aside, found some pens in the desk's drawers, and sat down.

The first form he picked up involved Sting's initial instatement as Guild Master of Sabertooth.

As in – Sting had never filed that form.

Dobengal contemplated putting his name down as the Guild Master, but then reconsidered.

Otherwise he'd have to do this paperwork  _all_  of the time.


	5. Chapter 5

“Where’s Rogue?” Frosch asked, eyes beginning to water when the little exceed couldn’t find their Dragon Slayer.

Lector patted his friend on their back.  “He’s just on vacation, right?”  He looked up at Dobengal to confirm.  When the mage nodded, he told Frosch, “You see?  He’ll be back soon enough.”

Frosch sniffled.  “But why didn’t he take Fro?  He always takes Fro on vacation!  Does… does Rogue _not like_ … Fro anymore…?”

“Of course he still likes you!” Lector tried to assuage the sobbing cat.  He looked up at Dobengal as if to say, _‘Help me out here, man!’_

_‘I’m just as lost as you are on this!’_

“Um…” Dobengal tried, after Lector gave him a _look_.  “Rogue didn’t want to leave you behind, but he didn’t… really have a choice this time.”

In fact, Rogue had needed to be pried away from his exceed friend when he’d left and had given Dobengal a list twice as long as the ninja was tall on Frosch’s daily routine.

“But why?”

“Because he and Sting-kun are getting married!” Lector answered, his chest puffing out in pride.

Frosch gazed blankly at the red exceed and Dobengal.  “What’s marriage?”

“Oh boy,” Lector muttered.

Dear gods, Dobengal was not equipped for this conversation.

“It’s when… when two people who love each other very much, and want to spend the rest of their lives together,” he offered.  “So they get married.  Rogue wants to spend the rest of his life with Sting, so they’re… celebrating.”

The lightbulb did not come on in Frosch’s mind.  “But Fro wants to spend the rest of Fro’s life with Rogue, too!”

“Not… not that kind of spending life together.  This is legally binding and…”  To be honest, Dobengal didn’t really understand the point of marriage himself, and didn’t even particularly care for romantic relationships.  The tax benefits and visitation rights were nice, of course, but explaining that to Frosch would probably take a really, really long time.

He was really, really not equipped for this conversation.

So he just patted the cat on their head.  “He’ll be back in a week.  Just consider this a sleepover party with Lector and me for now, alright?”

That cheered the exceed up more than he’d expected it to.  “Really?  Then Fro will have fun, too!”

Rogue would be so proud of Frosch when he returned.

Crisis averted for now, Dobengal heaved a sigh of relief.


	6. Chapter 6

Waking up to the headline stating that Fairy Tail had burned down their guildhall in a pyrotechnic display was enough to make Dobengal burst into a cold sweat that persisted for the rest of the day.  He found himself looking over his shoulder every few minutes, waiting for Rune Knights or reporters to appear asking about his involvement.

It had definitely been a mistake to teach the other fire mages how to use the rainbow fire spell.  Definitely a mistake to teach it to Natsu Dragneel, in particular.  Now there was a high chance of him going to prison for reckless endangerment of the public.

Wonderful.

It didn’t take long for his guildmates to take notice of his poor complexion and overall jumpiness.  After a brief conferral amongst themselves, they came to the not-unreasonable conclusion that Dobengal was suffering from overworking himself over the past week of looking after the guild.

Therefore, they decided that a little surprise party was needed in order to put some cheer back into the newly morose ninja.

Spending most of the day furtively setting up the guildhall, and trying and failing to covertly sneak supplies past the open office door, only further worsened Dobengal’s condition, as all the poor disguised actions only heightened his paranoia and every little shadow (were those the Rune Knights coming for him?!) sent him spiraling further and further downward.

Finally, his wrist aching painfully from all of the paperwork he’d managed to get completed (in spite of all the interruptions his paranoia had caused throughout the day), Dobengal put his pen down and decided to call it good for the night.

No Rune Knights or reporters had shown up.  This thought brought him a small amount of comfort – if no one had shown up so far, they likely weren’t going to at all.  Maybe Natsu had managed to keep the secret of his newfound technique to himself, rendering Dobengal in the clear!

It was at that point that he walked into the guild hall, where all of the waiting mages jumped out in front of him shouting, “Surprise!!”  A banner fell from the ceiling, and confetti filled the air.

Dobengal passed out from the shock.

Later, in the hospital, the guild members all apologized to their interim guild master, and promised to clean up the mess on his behalf.

When Dobengal was finally discharged late into the night, it was with an additional diagnosis for carpal tunnel syndrome.


	7. Chapter 7

It was finally over.

At last Dobengal’s long nightmare was finally over.  With minimal damage to the guild (his guild, anyway.  _Fairy Tail_ was still in the process of rebuilding after it had been burnt to the ground).  The black scorch marks leftover from the rainbow fire lesson were more or less hidden from sight with the clever rearrangement of tables.  With any luck, it would be a while before the newly returned mages noticed the marks, by which point Dobengal would be in the clear for that.

Sting and Rogue had arrived back at the guild first, incredibly early in the morning.  Given how the pair greeted Lector and Frosch upon arrival – with tight hugs and buckets of tears – they had missed the Exceeds even more than the cats themselves had.

Dobengal’s internment as Guild Master should have ended then and there, but Sting insisted that they were still officially on vacation for just one more day.  There wasn’t much that Dobengal could say to that, so he didn’t.

However, Sting did take the opportunity to marvel at the amount of paperwork that Dobengal had managed to accomplish on his behalf.

“I would have done more,” Dobengal stated as Sting shone with happiness at being able to _see_ his desk, “but I developed carpal tunnel in my dominant hand.”

“Dude, I didn’t expect you to do _any_!” Sting informed him, clapping a hand on Dobengal’s shoulder.  “Seriously, the only thing you were supposed to do was make sure nothing bad happened and that messages went out to requesters when their jobs were accepted.”

Seriously?  That would have been nice to know _beforehand_ …

“Still though, this looks fantastic.  Above and beyond.  I’m really happy that I left you in charge.  Did you hear that Fairy Tail _burned down_ without Erza and Lucy there to stop it?”

Dobengal broke out into a cold sweat.

“What’s hilarious is that we actually saw them on our honeymoon.  And a lot of other couples, too.  Then again, I should have guessed that the Akane Resort would be a popular choice, but _damn_ it was packed.  I’ll show you all the photos later, when the others get back.”

Relieved that the topic had switched, Dobengal nodded along.

Later that afternoon, Orga and Rufus returned (Orga, for once, wearing a shirt – an extremely large, floral print one) and a welcome party began.  A couple of hours in and Minerva and Yukino showed up as well.  At that point, it evolved into a joint reception for the happy couples – complete with toasts and anecdotes and dancing.

Now that they were all back, and the booze was flowing freely, Dobengal could relax and enjoy himself.  Provided that no one brought up what happened while the others were gone, that is.

* * *

 

Lots of alcohol, combined with powerful and extremely happy mages was not a particularly good combination, as it turned out.

But the roof collapse that occurred later that night happened _after_ midnight, so it wasn’t Dobengal’s problem to deal with.

* * *

 

_**The End** _


End file.
